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“HOME is where ever I am.”
That’s what I used to say. I have moved a lot as an adult and though I call the province I grew up in “home” when I am going to visit. I also call the place I currently live “home” when I return there. So “home” has always been where ever I am.
But in reality home is neither of those places. Since giving my life to Jesus and determining to follow Him when I was 13 years old, I have not been ‘at home’ here on earth since. Home is actually a place I long for but does not yet exist here on earth. I know this is a little sombre and weighty but it’s been that kind of month.
Near the beginning of the month, my brother-in-law Joel died unexpectedly and it has flipped our world upside down. It is bittersweet to know that he is in heaven worshipping God the Father, Jesus the Son and Holy Spirit and interceding (praying) for us. I know Joel is doing what he loves to do, sing and pray, and he is with the One he loves most, Jesus. But that doesn’t take away the awful sadness that comes with missing him. It will be a good day when we are reunited!
The reason I have been thinking about “Home” is that my sister has said a few times that nothing feels like home anymore since her husband died.
And though I don’t fully understand what she is going through, as I have never lost a spouse, I do understand that feeling of nowhere feeling like home and that aching longing for something that is not the current reality.
As followers of Jesus, we know that this life on earth is a temporary placement where we get to learn and grow but that the longing for home and a permanent place will only be fulfilled when we die and return to the Lord, or when Jesus returns to redeem the earth and unite it with heaven.
We are in a perpetual state of waiting and longing. Reality then becomes what the Father in heaven is doing and how we can join with Him in that. But it doesn’t negate the longing.
When I first heard Chantal Kreviazuk sing, ‘Feels Like Home to Me’, I absolutely loved it. It was an iconic song in the late 90’s (#iykyk). For me it’s a song that fills my chest with joy as it tears my heart with longing. Am I being too dramatic? Perhaps but Joel would appreciate my musings.
Anyway, that is the feeling it gives me when I listen to that song. My heart bursts with joy and love all the while aching with the same intensity for something that I am missing and longing for.
I don’t believe the person writing the song meant it for the Lord and I wouldn’t use it as a worship song in church. But the images it depicts (being comforted by the one who loves you and knowing someone who totally changes your life) and emotions it evokes (love, longing and comfort/safety) are what we encounter when we have a relationship with Jesus and what we feel towards the Lord. (see lyrics at the bottom)
That longing is for Jesus and the Father, even though we try to fill it with all kinds of other things. And He chases us down so we can run into His arms and holds us through the storms of life. The longing in our hearts is designed to draw us to the Father.
The longer I walk out faith, the more this song represents the tension of living in the now and and not yet. I am now looking to heaven as Home and earth as an AirBnB stay.
As we have said goodbye to Joel and are mourning him not being with us, I know that he has been restored to the Father and is sitting in the throne room of heaven singing his heart to the Lord and the tension we feel here has been replaced by unspeakable joy for him. He has made it HOME!
Where is HOME to you? I would love to hear your thoughts about that or what I have shared here.